Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Everyone says I win the strip club
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
