You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
