It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
