he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
