Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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