I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
