I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you traded sex for a burrito?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
