No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize