Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
