You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
