I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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