Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
