By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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