i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
