He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Mom said you looked used
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
