once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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