I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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