I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
