i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
