Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Still dying that you shit outside
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize