I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
