What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
