i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize