k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you would pick up someone in the library
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
