and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He better not be in your backpack
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
