somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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