I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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