thus making me awesome and them whores
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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