I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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