his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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