Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
