We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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