this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
they need to just BURY HIM!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
