My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
