I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
