Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
