and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
