apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
