Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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