Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
