it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
