When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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