"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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