i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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