when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize