I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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