Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
