these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
