Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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