Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
