We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
