my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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