you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
