literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
