Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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