are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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